Father's Day

My Father

My father was a man of small stature. He was a twin. His twin was a girl and larger than he. He was sickly from the start.

His father died when he was 4 years old and his oldest brother was 13 at the time of their dad’s death. Grandma Anna could not read or write English so she decided that the farm would be the best place to raise her family of four boys and one girl. Dad went to school in the winter months and he finished 4th grade. He was very good with numbers, he was poor speller and he read well for content but mispronounced many words. He educated himself in farming by reading Farm magazines. We could not throw them away.

Dad did not marry until he was 27 years old. In fact, he thought he just might not find the right girl to marry until his mom introduce him to my mother at a church bazaar where Anna and my mother were on Kitchen detail. The courtship was rather short. He liked mom because she was a church going lady who knew how to work. They married in 1931 during the depression. Well, guess what by the end of the next year I was born. Dad once told me he was so proud of me that when he held me he thought he was six feet tall. He never thought he would be so lucky to get such a good wife and now to have a daughter. It made him feel like he was on top of the world! Shortly after my birth he took sick and was a sickly man for the rest of his life.

When he was a young man before marriage he had to have gall stone surgery. His health problems began then, because he was put into a room where the previous patient had scarlet fever. He got the fever and begged not to have the surgery but no one listen to him. The results were that things grew together inside his body. He ended up with six chronic conditions. He needed a new stomach outlet; he had obstructive hepatics due to a closed duck to his liver, poor circulation, congestive heart failure, ulcers in the stomach and intestines. He was so sick that he could not even leave the hospital to go to his own mother’s funeral.

This frail man finally came home and he kept his mind alert as a shark till the hour he died at the ripe old age of 84. He watched TV therefore he knew what was happening politically and regionally. He calmly would tell us kids what he thought should be done next and gave us a few hint on how to do it and he quietly prayed that all would be well. We survived on a rented farm near Garretson.

Some of his sayings that I still remember are: “It is not my will but Thy Will be done”. “You kids, live to eat, I eat to live” he ate very little, we used big spoons to dish up our food, he used a teaspoon. When I drove him out into the country to see the crops he would say, “ I love my Family, I love Farming and I love my Faith and you are going too fast for me to enjoy any of it.” By the way, I was only going 25 miles per the hour. “ I can’t give you much money when you grow up but you can get an education if you are willing to walk (mile and half) to school and an education is worth more then money.” My sister and I took him up on that. My brothers preferred being home and doing farm work.

He loved to get birthday cards and he loved to send them. I still have the one he sent me for my 50’s birthday. The card says, “You have now reached the Nile age,” then you open it up and it says, “You are too old to be a juvenile and too young to be senile.” He loved family gatherings, family reunions, family picnics and especially his birthday.

He had mixed feeling about nuns changing into secular clothes. Every Sunday, Mass was celebrated on TV, various groups sang. Well, this particular Sunday the Nuns sang for the Mass. The singing was beautiful and Dad said, “ What a motley looking crowd, but they sure can sing. ” Mom said, “Dad that is the nuns singing. “

One day Bishop Dudley came to our home. That was a treat for Dad. When I came home on vacation, I planned on a little extra sleep, but he had other plans. He would open the stair door a little and start the rosary right by the stairwell in a strong voice, I knew it was time to get up he wanted my company.

After mom died, I would go home on weekends to check up on things and do the weekly house cleaning. Almost always he would be sitting in his chair going over the picture books and he would say, that was taken on such and such a day or even have the date. My brothers would like to try and trick him but he knew and was always right. He also kept a little account of his life. I typed it with his spelling, he checked it over and corrected any errors. After he died, I gave a copy to each of the kids and grandkids as a Christmas gift and it was one of their favorite gifts.

While still on the farm his job was to bring lunch to my brothers and mow the yard. We had a ten acre farm yard and mom wanted it nice and neatly mowed. He would mow for about an hour each day. He was so happy when I would come home for vacation because then he let me mow.

He was colorblind. The last car he bought he had it all but paid for when he told the salesman I’m going to get the Mrs. to see if she approves. So he goes home to get mom and on the way mom says, “What color is it?” Dad says, “a nice blue.” Mom goes into the shop with all the cars and she is looking for a blue car, and can’t find it. She asks dad where is the car? Dad points to the car that is on display. By the way it is sand color! I learn fast to hang his shirt with his pants and jacket or he might come dressed up in the oddest color combinations.

He did not think women should be in Politics. When we had a women running for Vice President, my sister and I were at home together with my dad. He watched the whole speech and then Dad said, “Not bad for a women.” Wow my sister really got on his case! After that he never ever said a women couldn’t do something out loud.

He lived five years alone after mom died, he said he was never afraid, he never locked his doors, and he had company nearly every day. He kept the house in order. I just had to go over it with a vacuum and dust rag on the weekend. He always rinsed off his dishes and put them in the dishwasher. I would run the dishwasher on the weekend. Wash his sheets and carry out the garbage plus do a little grocery shopping.

I remember him mostly because he was such a gentle man. He was quick witted! He was a big tease, but he knew that I did not enjoy being teased and he did not tease me very much. He was very prayerful. He enjoyed it when the priest came to visit. He would visit with any one. He even wrote to an insurance man with this comment, "It is time for you to stop in and visit; I need one of your calendars." He always found the best in a person. Dad’s living room occasionally became my brother’s place to meet with various men so that dad could be a part of what ever business deal was on the table. Dad said very little at these meetings, but he knew exactly what was going on. After wards he might say, boy that is a lot of money.

Dad was a wonderful man, and I feel that Dad’s gentleness has given me a willingness to accept God the Father as my God image with no gender problem.